My car is 5EAT too. The new solenoid finally turned up this morning.
While waiting to it to arrive, my nexus has shat itself, so I can't reset the ECU with it anymore. And you say the gearbox doesn't like having the ECU reset without also resetting the TCU? So if I disconnect the battery for 10 minutes that will reset the ECU? Not sure where to reset the ECU / TCU from in RomRaider yet, have only used RR the one time above. Anyway, I might try and fit the new solenoid tonight, or first thing tomorrow morning. Then I'll log in it RR and post up the results. Stay tuned.....