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I'm not a lawyer, and in fact was escorted from my law faculty for gross moral ineptitude (and poor personal hygiene), but I'm going to say that your chart does not meet the standard of proof required to backup your claims

Meh, they say lag, we say foreplay

On the intake mani, directly under the throttle. So there is the crankcase breather port... it has a plastic T section... one side goes to the intake pipe, the other goes to the pcv. Some newer blocks have two crankcase breathers... I just blocked the second one up when I had one of those... I don't know how it is plumbed into the OEM system at all.

The air going into the catch can is not metered air... it can be vented to the atmosphere. The biggest thing to be worried about it is not restricting the flow from the heads and crankcase with small ports on your breather. I use a 4 port can... one port for each breather appropriately sized... and one large breather port on top which I vent under the car. Block the paths back into the intake pipe and remove the pcv and block that port too... though some people would prefer to keep it.

Image how much complaining about lack of engine noise you might see on EV forums.

Sell it and buy a daily. This car is giving you high levels of anxiety.

Was just joking actually... but a noisy exhaust just attracts attention... which personally I don't want. When I first got my current car it was tuned to fart pop and backfire whenever I was off the gas... it was a nightmare and I had to drive around with my hand covering my eyes in shame.