Blame BMW for the confusion caused by calling both their serious, once handbuilt roadracers and their sporty accessory line "M".
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An offshoot company, BMW Motorsport GmbH, originally handbuilt the first M3 and M5 cars.
Then BMW GmbH appropriated the M for their Motorsport accessory line.
The Motorsport options did include a suspension package as well as the cosmetic bits like seats, steering wheels, road wheels, bodykits etc.
So while the M3 running gear was not optional it is possible to get an E36 with factory Motorsport suspension (they never offered a brake package). These cars were lower, a bit better handling and poorer riding.
Finally, if you're not tearing around the Nurburgring, there's nothing wrong with the auto gearboxes, they are well suited for regular driving.