We All Know Them

[Ryry]

Ok so we've all met a few of these people in our time that have crazy ideas for stupid cars when they have no idea what they're on about, but realy they think they're car guru's. You meet them through a mate of a mate blah blah blah. I was wondering what you guys have heard.

I'll get the ball rolling with a few i've heard

"I'm going to make carbon fibre internals for my celica and turbo it because it's stronger"

"I want to turbo my car so i can have that mean pshht sound" (Talking about a 86 1.3 Suzuki swift)

"I stripped and fully rebuilt my engine in one night without using new parts or takeing the engine out in one night and got 10kph more from it"

I've heard many funnier ones but these are good examples

[kamineko]

heh heh

ahh yeah just a warning, this is not an invitation to start quoting fellow forum users, as tempting as it may be the mods CBF

[mattapo]

A guy with a bg5a twin turb legacy with dead rego admits to knowing nothing about cars then a week later he is an expert and is starting a single turb conversion on the standard wiring and yellows.

A guy reckoned he had a clear tappet cover so ya could see the cams, and yes he ment cams not cam gears. and told me the oil wouldnt splash up onto it

a guy reckoned putting 4 pc fans on his intake was just like having a turbo

[kamineko]

had a guy trying to explain to me that suby's had unequal length half shafts

me, hmm i think your thinking a mitsi

guy, nah i had a TT..

then he tried to explain that a boxer engine had two crankshafts and the pistons opposed, literally.

*bites tongue*

[newsuba]

Noobs who say they want xxxkW without being able to say why or how...

:

[Guest itsgotgo]

Have heard a few,

Use a house vacuum cleaner as a turbo come supercharger....HOW THE FARK ARE YOU GOING TO RUN THAT WITHOUT 240V :

My monaro has 255kw atw because the badge with 255 came from the factory......dumb a s s :

I was laughing on the inside ;D

[Guest lan_killa]

My old man reckoned that after doing an oil change on his car instead of doing 3000rpm @ 100kph it would now do 2500rpm @ 100kph... funny... I didnt see him change the diff while he was under there...

[newsuba]

 itsgotgo said:

Have heard a few,

Use a house vacuum cleaner as a turbo come supercharger....HOW THE FARK ARE YOU GOING TO RUN THAT WITHOUT 240V :

My monaro has 255kw atw because the badge with 255 came from the factory......dumb a s s :

I was laughing on the inside ;D

Vacuum cleaner = classic !

;D

Second one is a variation on the... my car goes to 300km/h 'cos that's the biggest number on the speedo.

[newsuba]

 lan_killa said:

My old man reckoned that after doing an oil change on his car instead of doing 3000rpm @ 100kph it would now do 2500rpm @ 100kph... funny... I didnt see him change the diff while he was under there...

Back in the old, old days the standard fix to any car probem was to change the spark plugs.

;D

[G-unit]

 mattapo said:

A guy with a bg5a twin turb legacy with dead rego admits to knowing nothing about cars then a week later he is an expert and is starting a single turb conversion on the standard wiring and yellows.

A guy reckoned he had a clear tappet cover so ya could see the cams, and yes he ment cams not cam gears. and told me the oil wouldnt splash up onto it

a guy reckoned putting 4 pc fans on his intake was just like having a turbo

mate had a big yoghurt container with a small comp fan inside it, was a mean turbo on the river car lmfao

also have a mate i call imaguna as hes guna do this and that and never happens lmao

[Guest keltik]

I know of one person who was going to build a 300hp non turbo motor....with 0 budget and 0 experience

sorry nick

[DRFVDR]

 kamineko said:

had a guy trying to explain to me that suby's had unequal length half shafts

me, hmm i think your thinking a mitsi

guy, nah i had a TT..

then he tried to explain that a boxer engine had two crankshafts and the pistons opposed, literally.

*bites tongue*

Actually he is partially correct the true BOXER engine built in WW2 was exactly that

but not the subby ones we know and love

[Guest keltik]

This warrants a picture because its excessively cool. Read about them a while ago but never saw this pic;

Junkers Jumo aircraft diesel engine, 2 stroke 6 cylinder opposed piston. 552kw at 1,800rpm

And we all love youtube videos of people who build things out of lawnmower engines in their back yards

[R.D]

today a distant friend told me he has a 1.8L s13 making 400hp ATW on 7psi hahah. he talks alot of crap.

[Ryry]

 kamineko said:

heh heh

ahh yeah just a warning, this is not an invitation to start quoting fellow forum users, as tempting as it may be the mods CBF

Sorry about that just quote marks. They were from a few mates from a long long time ago who have since become a little bit more knowledgeable and now laugh at some of the stuff they used to say and will now openley admit they dont know as much as they used to try and make out... Although i have heard some other shockers from randoms

[Guest lan_killa]

Just found this...

Got that right !!! ten thou off the oil filter , chrome double overhead dip sticks , long pistons , bent double crankshaft , balanced sump plug , polished waterproof radiator , 14 psi balanced oil cap , closed and honed double squirt pre-flame carbies ..... and MAN CAN IT GO

Was me and a few guys I know taking the piss a few years back

[DRFVDR]

hehhehe does remind me of a moment a few years ago ,that me and a mate had a no it all (who didnt and still doesnt know sh!t) That a red car goes faster because the colour red has a smaller molecular structure making it a smoother paint hehhhe

[chrisjunkie]

 keltik said:

I know of one person who was going to build a 300hp non turbo motor....with 0 budget and 0 experience

color=white]size=1]sorry nick[/size/color

Haha, I know someone like that too and I dunno if its the same person but I know they will actually do it. Probably someone different as the person I'm thinking of has lots of experience plus the money to do so...

BTW, whats with the hidden "sorry nick"?

[lunchie]

 Ryry said:

Ok so we've all met a few of these people in our time that have crazy ideas for stupid cars when they have no idea what they're on about, but realy they think they're car guru's. You meet them through a mate of a mate blah blah blah. I was wondering what you guys have heard.

I'll get the ball rolling with a few i've heard

"I'm going to make carbon fibre internals for my celica and turbo it because it's stronger"

"I want to turbo my car so i can have that mean pshht sound" (Talking about a 86 1.3 Suzuki swift)

"I stripped and fully rebuilt my engine in one night without using new parts or takeing the engine out in one night and got 10kph more from it"

I've heard many funnier ones but these are good examples

HEY I have an 86 Suzuki swift 1.3l.... and it WOULD make a mean Pshht sound

[newsuba]

Stick BMW badges on it and it WILL go faster.

There was a dude in Wellington with a Suzuki Cappucino sporting big BMW roundels on each flank.

;D

[dubbedup]

 chrisjunkie']

[quote name='keltik said:

I know of one person who was going to build a 300hp non turbo motor....with 0 budget and 0 experience

color=white]size=1]sorry nick

BUSTED!

[ClubSub Mum]

Hehe, other club sub members here in Welly stuck an sti sticker on our "other car" (commodore)..........

Its our joke here now are we bringing the wrx or the sti out to things lol.

[funkytown]

 ClubSub Mum said:

Hehe, other club sub members here in Welly stuck an sti sticker on our "other car" (commodore)..........

Its our joke here now are we bringing the wrx or the sti out to things lol.

phWOAR!! yer the Omega STI - cranking it ;D

[Ryry]

 lan_killa said:

Just found this...

Got that right !!! ten thou off the oil filter , chrome double overhead dip sticks , long pistons , bent double crankshaft , balanced sump plug , polished waterproof radiator , 14 psi balanced oil cap , closed and honed double squirt pre-flame carbies ..... and MAN CAN IT GO

Was me and a few guys I know taking the piss a few years back

Best one a couple of my mates did with a little know it all was say at 0 psi the blades of a turbo arent spinning at all. At 10 psi the spin at +10rps and at at 10 inHG they do -10 rps....The guys response...well duh everyone knows that whoever doesnt is a ****whit

[Guest]

 Ryry']

[quote name='lan_killa said:

Just found this...

Got that right !!! ten thou off the oil filter , chrome double overhead dip sticks , long pistons , bent double crankshaft , balanced sump plug , polished waterproof radiator , 14 psi balanced oil cap , closed and honed double squirt pre-flame carbies ..... and MAN CAN IT GO

Was me and a few guys I know taking the piss a few years back

/quote]

Best one a couple of my mates did with a little know it all was say at 0 psi the blades of a turbo arent spinning at all. At 10 psi the spin at +10rps and at at 10 inHG they do -10 rps....The guys response...well duh everyone knows that whoever doesnt is a ****whit

Bahahahah